Tonight, the Chicago White Sox swept the Houston Ass-Stroh's to garner their first World Series since 1917 (yeah, I hope I'm not the only one to notice some serious symmetry here - the Red Sox won last year after not having won since 1918 ... weird. and they also swept too.)

When I was a young lad in '87, I somehow wound up with an overabundance of Houston Astros in my Topps collection. You may recall the Topps '87 collection - wood trim, a nod to a bygone era of baseball - one played in black and white, where the game's greatest player was married to the country's most beautiful and provacative female star, a game my father used to tell me about, in between loud, repeated "KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL!!!"-type of remarks. Yeah, that was my dad's game.

So during the '87 season, I wound up becoming experts on the likes of Jose Cruz, Nolan Ryan, the ubiquitous Dave Smith, Terry Puhl, Ty Gainey, Kevin Bass, Bill Doran, Danny Darwin, Rocky Childress, Dickie Thon ... you see where this is going (especially if you are a fan of the mid-80's Astros). During this time, my Baltimore Orioles were in somewhat of a major league coma, leading me to stray from my first love. The Houston Astros were my mistress. At 10, my dad took me to see them play a 3 game series in Philly. I was awestruck. The Phillies took 2 of 3, but one game, Mike Scott took the mound and reigned supreme on the city of Philly. That nasty fastball combined with his even nastier splitter sent men in green back the bench more times than not. My dad told me if I ever threw the splitter, it would ruin my pitching arm. Yet, I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Plus, the Vet was a complete mad house, a crazy joint.

The HOUSED-ton Astros could have used Mike Scott at least one game this series. I was really pulling for some sort of Mike Scott comeback or at least an appearance, but apparently, he's like 50 and probably doesn't give a shit about the Houston Astros, or about my shitty blog. However, one thing Mike Scott CAN NOT deny, is his likeness to Frasier and my buddy's uncle. I don't have pictures of my buddy's uncle, but I do have this totally photoshopped re-imagining of Mike Scott and Frazier. WWMS D? Yeah, you heard me. What would Mike Scott do? I have no clue. Where did he get that nasty splitter. Roger Craig my ass. He made grown men look like little leaguers up there. Damn.